6 Steps to True Forgiveness

Pray For Your Enemies

 

I know it sounds crazy, but I speak truth when I encourage you all to pray for your enemies. 

 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:43-45

 

Here on the Race, I have forgiven a lot of people: a lot of former “enemies” and, eventually, a lot of people whom I love—people I didn’t even know I needed to forgive.  

I’ve also asked Jesus to forgive me for all the years I’ve harbored unforgiveness towards these people and for all the unloving things I’ve done to them.  

Now, I pray for them.

 

This is why I’m writing to tell you this; the grace of Jesus has changed my life.

 

You probably don’t want to pray for your enemies.  I know most of the time I don’t either at first.

 

But here’s the truth: 

We are commanded to. 

 

So be obedient, and start today.  

 

God knows your heart.  And if I’ve learned anything from my good friend, Kelsey Corns, it’s that heart posture is everything. 

 

The Lord already knows when you harbor hatred, discord, or resentment.  He knows when you don’t want to forgive or love someone, and he definitely knows when you don’t want to pray for them instead. 

 

So since God already knows your heart, it’s best to be honest with him; tell him how you feel, and pray for your enemies anyway.

 

Praying for my “enemies” has changed my life.  I am free from evil ties with unforgiveness and resentment.  I am walking in freedom with Jesus in relationships that once held me in bondage.  I am living joyfully and loving people who hurt me.  

 

And I am praying for those people with a heart that feels compassion and deep love for them—a love that can only be explained by the Holy Spirit permeating my heart deeply.

 

Thank you, Lord Jesus.

 

Because believe me: I used to be a bitter person in many ways, harboring suppressed pain and anger towards my enemies.  

 

I didn’t want to forgive because I felt a sense of false power over others in my state of unforgiveness.  

(Wow, what a foolish lie from the enemy, meant to steal, kill, and destroy unity.)

 

In the past, I knew I had to pray for my enemies, so with half-effort prayers and a desire to keep my hardened heart, I’d resentfully send up prayers of the like: “Lord, help me forgive ___.  I know I need to forgive them, but I just can’t.”

 

Friends, hear me when I say this: 

Forgiveness is a choice. 

 

Forgiveness is our choice.

 

Forgiveness is hard and brave.  But it is so rewarding and freeing.

 

I encourage you to sit with the Lord with an enemy (or someone you love) on your heart—whoever you need to forgive.

1. Think about everything you need to forgive that person for.

• Pro tip: Ask Jesus what all you need to forgive them for.

2. Ask Jesus for help and a softened heart.

• It’s okay to cry.  (I think I cry every time.)

3. Out loud state every single thing you forgive them for.

• “I forgive [person] for ____, _____, and ____.” 

4. Ask the Lord to forgive them on your behalf too. 

• (This is important!)

5. Ask the Lord’s forgiveness for your part.

• You may not have a part in some cases, especially within abuse.  Just ask Jesus, and He’ll tell you.

6. Then, pray for them.  Pray that Jesus would change their lives and that they would know Him deeply.  

• Pray for them however Jesus lays upon your heart.

 

And continue praying for your enemies.  

 

Forgive quickly, and love readily.

 

“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13

 

Friend, believe me when I say forgiveness is rich, and prayer is powerful.  You will never regret your decision to step into freedom and forgive others. 

 

Your love and prayers for your others could lead them to Jesus and lead them into heavenly eternity.

 

What if you get to heaven and look back on your life, only to hear the Father say that you could have lived a more rewarding life if you had forgiven and loved your enemies better? 

 

What if your forgiveness could have been used in God’s plan to save souls, but you refused to do it? 

 

You can forgive and you can pray for your enemies; 

you will live in joy and freedom when you choose to walk in intentional forgiveness and grace.